April 28: "A present from Ju''

Wednesday afternoon I was walking down the hall after my last final, a group presentation in my Mass Media Law class. If a 51-year-old guy can have a bounce to his step, I had one. We had just scored a perfect 200 on the presentation, nailing down an A for the class and completing what I am confident will be a perfect 4.0 gpa.

Not bad, considering in what my first semester after an almost 30-year break in my education.

I was turning a corner to leave the building when I heard a little voice and little steps running in my direction.

“Mr. Slim!’’ she called out.

It was Ju.

You may remember Ju from one of my first posts. She was a tiny little Korean exchange student I wrote about. I met her on my first day of class. She had lingered after the end of our Journalism Ethics class to talk to our professor. She was worried that she wouldn’t be able to pass the class. It was easy to understand her fears. The Professor would say something and she would look down on her little hand-held computer, which turned out to be a Korean/English dictionary.

After she had finished talking to the professor, I told her that I have overheard her conversation and, since I had been a working journalist for almost 30 years, I would be happy to help her in the class.

Her face brightened. She smiled and nodded – bowed, really, as is the custom of her homeland.

It turns out, I also had Ju in my Mass Media Law class.

I can’t say that I really offered her that much help, aside from asking her how she was doing and telling her how impressed I was with her work.

So when she hailed me as I was leaving, I was a little surprised.

“I have something for you,’’ she said, a little breathless from running to catch up with me.

It was a little Korean ornament of some sort. Rather than describe it, you can find a picture on the right side of this page.

“I just wanted to thank you so much!’’ she said.

I’m not sure exactly what Ju believed that I had done that warranted her thanks. Truth is, I was far more inspired by her than she could ever be by me. I remember her first days in class as she struggled with her little Korean/English dictionary. By the end of the semester, I never saw her use it at all.

Hey, college is hard enough for a young person, with all the distractions. But try it while being thousands of miles from home, studying and taking tests and notes in a language you hardly know. I’d last about a week, I figure.

So when I measured my success against Ju's, I realized that maybe I should be too self-satisifed.


Ju will be leaving for Korea early next week. She’ll finish school there and plans to stay in Korea and pursue a job in TV. I have no doubt she will succeed. She is obviously smart and profoundly disciplined.

Ju got me to thinking about some of the students I have met her in my first semester.

Specifically, I thought of which of the students I had met I would hire if I were to start my own company.

I’ll start with a guy named “Philly.’’ I met him on my first day of Geography class. He was sitting in the desk next to me.

Ten minutes into that first lecture, I looked over and noticed that Philly had no notebook, no pen and seemed to have little or no interest in what was going on.

Philly is a tall, broad-shouldered black kid from Philadelphia, Miss. That, along with the fact that I never saw him when he wasn’t wearing A Philadelphia Phillies baseball cap, is why he is known as Philly.

I figured Philly wouldn’t be around long. Surely, he would drop the class.

But he didn’t. In fact, Philly was there every day. Turns out, he was a pretty good student. Near the end of the semester, he said he would likely make a B in the class. Not bad.

I think I would hire him, not for his academic excellence, but because Philly has that “it’’ factor. In fact, it seemed as though everybody on campus knew and liked Philly. He has that sort of charm that draws all sorts of people to him.

And I could use a guy like that in my mythical company.

On the opposite end of the spectrum there is April, a 30-year-old married mom who drove to Starkville from her home in Fulton to take classes two days a week. She’s carrying a full load, also taking some online courses.

April was one of three people from my Public Speaking Class I think I would hire.

Of all the people in that class, she was the one who seemed most prepared. Her speeches were not dynamic or provocative in any way. In fact, they were pretty bland. But no one in her class was better prepared. She seemed to have every speech committed to memory and delivered them in a sure, steady voice. So while there was nothing inspiring in her work, it was obvious that she was both conscientious and well-prepared.

She would be known as a “low-maintenance’’ employee, someone who is entirely dependable. She gets the job done in a workmanlike fashion. I’d hire her.

I would hire Raj, too.

Early in the semester, I would never have considered him. A native of India, Raj always arrived late to class, his dark, thick hair a total mess and his shirt-tail hanging out. He seemed disorganized and confused.

And then he spoke.

He spoke with such a burning passion and enthusiasm that you scarcely noticed his appearance. He has the one thing that every company needs more of: Fire.

By contrast, Toshi, from Tokyo, was the model of precision. Even though he struggled with English, his speeches – like those of April – were well-prepared. He was thorough, well-prepared and surprisingly funny and self-effacing. It was clear after the first speech that Toshi is both intelligent and engaging. He’s hired.

Ju, Philly, April, Raj and Toshi: That’s a pretty good group of folks to start a company with, I think.I would hire them.

But I’m beginning to wonder if anyone will hire me.

I applied for two internships this semester and was turned down for both of them, even though the interviews themselves went about as well as an interview can go. It was obvious that the recruiters for those two positions absolutely loved me as a candidate.

But my record shot me down in both cases and the internship went to people whose credentials and experience pall in comparison to mine.

The ONLY thing that seems to matter is the person I was at my worst moment. Nothing I have achieved outside of it seems to carry any weight at all.

Unfair? It is not for me to say, of course.

I wonder if I am deluding myself in thinking that I can aspire to something beyond menial jobs. In the five years since that life-changing night that I got my last DUI, I’ve had no trouble finding menial jobs – car wash attendant, clerk, janitor.

I had imagined that when I had paid my “debt to society,’’ I might be able to go as far as my talent, drive, skills and experiences would take me.

But now I am beginning to wonder.

People believe in “second chances’’ - as long as they don’t have to provide them.
And, so, I’m back to where I was the day I walked out of prison four years ago:
Now what?

I’m going to keep on trying, I’ll stick it out in school and believe that I can aspire to something better. Maybe it’s a foolish idea, a silly notion that there is something “better’’ out there for me.

But I have to believe it anyway.

The alternative is despair.