Jan. 14: "Gone to Gulfport''

This is going to be a quickie.

I breezed through Geography and Mass Media Law, my only classes on Friday, and after lunch headed back to my apartment to pack.

I’m driving down to Gulfport to see my daughter and take my son’s stuff back to him. The original plan was for Corey to be a roommate here in Starkville now that I have the luxury of a two-bedroom apartment.

He had spent the last month living in my little box-of-a-house in Tempe and we had great fun despite the close quarters. We moved to Starkville together, and spent several days fixing up our place. Gosh, he’s a good kid. I don’t think I ever really appreciated that before now. So in my mind’s eye, having my son as a roomie in Starkville would be a thing of great joy. I could use the company, you know?

I was divorced when Corey was 14, so I thought this would also get a chance for me to get to know my own son. Sad, really, when I think that I’m pretty much on the periphery of a lot of people’s lives – I know and am known in a limited context, for a limited purpose. And I guess that’s the root of my unhappiness, the lonely feeling that deals me I’m nowhere near the center of anybody’s universe. I just feel like an extra part, not exactly unwanted, to be sure, but certainly not essential. Not even to my own kids.

So this was sort of a do-over for me, I thought.

But Corey’s job prospects back in Gulfport, where his mom lives, are much better than they are here. And so, while losing Corey is my roommate is a net loss for me, I can’t stand in the way of something that is good for Corey. Sometimes, the best you can do is get out of the way.

So I guess I won’t have the opportunity to reconnect with him to quite the degree that I once imagined. Still, I am happy to know that I’m only a few hours’ drive away from both Corey and my daughter, Abby.

At lunch, I got another fortune cookie. It read, “You will find what you have lost within the month.’’

And, of course, I don’t have to tell you where that leads this beat up old heart of mine.

She can’t be found. She doesn’t want to be found. At least, not by me.

So I’m loading up the truck and heading south to Gulfport.

You remember that previous fortune cookie message I got, right?

“Traveling to the south will bring you unexpected happiness.’’

I’m all for that…